When you buy a brand-new bike, what’s the first thing you learn after taking it for a spin? n That it comes with a service schedule. n Every few hundred kilometers — oil check. After a certain time — chain cleaning, brake adjustments, tire inspections.
It’s routine. It’s expected. n And we follow it without question because we understand one thing: n If you want something to last, you maintain it.
I call this the Maintenance Algorithm— a simple but powerful idea that applies to far more than bikes or machines. n It applies to everything in life, especially human relationships.
Relationships Are Machines Too (But Smarter)
A bike is a passive machine. It doesn’t argue or resist. It won’t ghost you if you forget to oil the chain. n But a relationship is different — it’s dynamic, sensitive, and alive. n And it requires more than mechanical servicing. It needs emotional maintenance.
- Checking in with your partner regularly is like checking the engine.
- Having honest conversations is like tightening loose bolts.
- Apologizing when you mess up is like realigning the wheels.
Just like a well-serviced bike rides smoother, a well-maintained relationship feels lighter, more joyful, more resilient to the bumps along the way.
Mutual Effort Is Non-Negotiable
Here’s the catch — a bike doesn’t have a say in its maintenance. You control it.
But in a relationship, both people have to be on board. One person cannot do all the tune-ups alone. It’s a two-way road — both partners need to be willing to stop, assess, communicate, and grow.
Ever tried fixing a bike while it’s still being ridden? n That’s what it feels like when only one person is trying to work on a relationship while the other keeps pushing forward without reflection.
Mutual effort doesn’t mean being perfect. n It means being intentional.
It’s sitting down and saying:
“Hey, I’ve noticed we’ve been distant lately. Let’s talk.” n “I feel like something’s off — how can we fix it together?”
It’s Not Just Romantic Relationships
The Maintenance Algorithm isn’t limited to couples. n It applies to:
- Friendships (when was the last time you checked in on that friend who always checks in on you?)
- Family bonds (parents, siblings — they need more than just occasional visits)
- Work relationships (colleagues and teams thrive when communication and trust are maintained)
In every context, relationships either grow or decay. n And maintenance is the difference.
A Personal Take: When I Forgot the Algorithm
I learned this the hard way. n There was a time when I poured all my energy into work. Deadlines, goals, achievements — they took priority. I assumed my relationships would “run themselves” like machines.
They didn’t.
Slowly, things started breaking down. n Misunderstandings became arguments. n Moments of silence stretched into weeks. n I was shocked — but I shouldn’t have been. I hadn’t done the maintenance.
Rebuilding wasn’t easy. But once I started treating relationships like the valuable systems they are — systems that need time, effort, and care — things began to shift.
And it made all the difference.
Final Thoughts: Maintenance Is Love in Action
In the end, maintenance isn’t just about fixing what’s broken. n It’s about preventing problems before they start. n It’s about showing the other person:
“I care enough to notice. I care enough to try.”
So whether it’s a relationship, a bike, or your own mental health — n Don’t wait for a breakdown to pay attention.
Remember the Maintenance Algorithm. n Apply it. Live it. n And watch everything around you last longer, feel better, and run smoother.