This story dramatizes what happens when the U.S. House of Representatives stumbles onto “Ternary Logic,” an evidentiary framework for economic systems built around a third state: Epistemic Hold. Through a satirical tour of Decision Logs, Immutable Ledgers, Hybrid Shield, Anchors, and “No Log = No Action,” it imagines a world where markets, CBDCs, ESG finance—and even lawmakers—are forced to act only on transparent, auditable evidence.